Watching the movie (Adopted)(SPOOF DANK)
by A fanfiction reviewer
Summary: So here it is. The Watching the movie spoof (Adopted) This story is gonna cover the WHOLE movie. If you are thinking of reading this, and haven't read my first spoof story, read that, or you'll be more lost than (Insert sexual joke that I'm not allowed to make in my summary due to terms and services)
1. Chapter 1

**It's Friday somewhere in the world, my dudes.**

 **So, here it is. The adopted watching the movie. I mainly made this story because, while I can't over fabricate EVERYTHING from the Watching the movie fanfics, I sure as fuck am not done with them yet. I got a few more things to nitpick about, and a few more dildo jokes to make.**

 **So, without further ado… Watching the movie (Adopted)(SPOOF DANK)**

* * *

 **AN: Yo whats up guys and gals, I'm your white knight, KawaiiNightFury420! So I was jerking it to some hentai interactive porn game, and I was going so hard that my fedora fell off!**

 **Now that I've told you about my personal life, I'd like to say that I saw a fanfic called "Watching the movie" and noticed that it was up for adoption!**

 **Since I didn't feel like going through the painstaking process of making my own damn story, I decided to steal DragonFucker123's story idea, and claim it as my own, putting it off as "adopted"**

 **But it's fine though, because she was too lazy to finish the story, but still wanted it to be finished, so she put it up for adoption, being the uncommitted cuntbag that she is.**

 **With all that out of the way, let's begin "our" story!**

The Vikings and dragons were sitting in the movie theater. The movie had stopped, and Raven-heart Shadowblade xenochronicles milf the hedgehog had taken a temporary break from watching the movie.

So they were all sitting in the theater, jacking off to pass the time, when there was a second bright, white light. As you can tell, originality is through the roof.

They all were teleported into ANOTHER movie theater. But this time, the movie theater had plush, black and red, oddly comfortable seats for everyone. The dragons were given ornate, hand carved stone slabs as seats, and Hiccup, our heroic main character, was given a throne made of solid fucking gold.

Overall, the theater looked much more well preserved and fancy, unlike their previous theater that had cum stains on the walls, and a questionable man that was probably a gun smuggler.

The Vikings were looking around in awe at the theater. They had never seen anything so fancy in their ghetto lives!

Suddenly, a self insert fag entered the room.

"Hello, everyone!" The Vikings diverted their eyes to the source of the voice. They saw a 16 year old boy with black and purple hair, purple glowing eyes, a leather corset, leather pants, leather gloves, a robotic arm, and welding goggles that served absolutely no purpose other than to look "cool".

The dragons looked at the steampunk weaboo trash. The boy looked back at them and telepathically communicated with them, using his faggotty fairy fucking mind-magic.

 _"Hello, dragons. I can understand your language perfectly, and I can communicate with you telepathically. I wanted to tell you that I'm friendly. Also, I am a registered sex offender."_

The dragons glanced at each other confusedly, but the boy spoke up before they could dwell on the fact that he essentially just mind raped them.

"Hello everyone, I'm KawaiiNightFury420, but you all can call me Clyde."

Everyone looked at each other, confused. "Just Clyde?" Generic villager #76 asked.

"Well, that's what I prefer to be called. My full name is Septimus ClankFap. In fact, I'd rather you all call me that than Clyde, come to think of it. My abusive, evil, drunk father from Colorado that left me with hundreds of scars called me Clyde. That was before I ran away from him, and was raised by wolves."

He then cupped his hands together. "But that's enough about my tragic, abusive, traumatizing, edgy childhood that left me with a crippling case of PTSD. The reason you are all here, and not in the theater with Dragonfucker123, is because she put her story up for adoption."

"Now, being the lazy cuckold that I am, I decided to adopt her story, as a pose to actually writing an original story on my own. Since it is now my story, you all may see a few new OCs enter the story, like my co-writer, or my beta reader that doesn't have the balls to tell me that my story sucks dick." Septimus ClankFap said.

Everyone was just sitting there, listening to the weab drone on, when Snotlout the fuckboy raised his hand, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. Septimus glared at him.

"Snotlout, I swear to the almighty Lord Gaben, if you say anything mean to Hiccup, I'm gonna cut your dick off."

Snotlout hesitated, but lowered his hand, deciding to preserve his pencil dick, at the cost of not making an unoriginal insult using the term "Useless".

Hiccup, meanwhile, in his jem encrusted solid gold throne looked at the boy in shock. Had somebody just defended him from the big, smelly, evil Snotlout? Nobody has ever stood up for him before!

"Now, before I start this movie, I'd like to-"

"Yoooo, what's up, faggots?" Someone yelled, interrupting ClankFap.

A new character, with absolutely no backstory whatsoever, waltzed onto the stage like a fucking twit faced cunt.

"Harold, you know you're not allowed to use that word! It's offensive!" Septimus ClankFap said.

"Fuck off, you retarded pickle licking FAGGOT!" Said Harold, half joking, half serious.

Herald was a half wolf, half penguin anthro. He was wearing an extremely cringey sleeveless black hoodie that showed off his extremely well toned muscles, as well as a pair of short shorts with a hole for his bushy, stupid fucking tail.

"Guys, this is the co-writer I was talking about. His name is YiffNation. In case you can't tell, my co-writer is a furry. He requested that I include him in my story."

The entire audience of Vikings were now completely lost. With all that had transpired in the past 10 minutes, they were now questioning if they had went on an LSD trip.

"Alright, so enough of all this bullshit backstory that literally nobody cares about." Said ClankFap. "We're about to get on with the movie. But first…"

Clankfap snapped his fingers, and everyone's weapons magically appeared into their respective owners' hands.

"Ayy, my combat dildo!" Cheered generic villager #59.

"Don't make me regret giving you back your weapons." Clankfap said.

Snotlout lovingly caressed his wooden club. _"Oh man, I've finally got my weapon back!"_ Thought Snotlout. _"And there's no edgy black and red barrier! I should shove this club up Hiccup's butt. Astrid would definitely see how manly I was then. There's no way she wouldn't be stroking my cock by the end of the day."_

The fuckboy glanced at Hiccup, but found that the Night Fury was giving him a glare that practically screamed butt rape. Snotlout, in a sudden burst of intelligence, realized that he should probably reconsider.

"Now, I'm not going to put up a barrier, but if any of you try to harm the dragons or Hiccup, I will use my magical powers to paralyze you." ClankFap said.

"But what if they try to harm us?" Generic villager #76 said.

"Are you fucking stupid? We all know that the dragons from HTTYD are friendly, peace loving, kind hearted, innocent, misunderstood creatures!" ClankFap replied.

"But they burn down our-" "Shut the fuck up, I'm right. I did lots of research on this franchise, and by research, I mean spending 4 hours reading ToothCup and fluff stories." ClankFap said, interrupting Generic villager #59.

"Yo, Septimus, I'm gonna go meat my beat, see you later." Said YiffNation, leaving the theater.

"Alright, cool. I'm gonna start up this movie now."

Septimus used his fucking black magic, combined with the power of Windows 10 to project the HTTYD movie on the theater's big screen.

"Okay, I'm about to hit play, and this movie will resume where you last left off. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got about three pounds of crystal meth in my room, and I'm gonna shove it all up my butt. You guys enjoy the movie." Said Septimus ClankFap.

The edgy steampunk left the theater by using his teleportation powers that have yet to be explained, leaving the audience alone in the theater.

 **Stoick: Do NOT let them escape!**

* * *

 **So, there it is. The teaser to Watching the movie (adopted). BTW, I still think that the whole "adopted" thing is bullshit. Yeah sure, if the story has an original idea, it's fine to adopt it and come up with your own spin on the story.**

 **But if the story idea is more generic than a Jacob Sartorius music video, it's pretty much just the adopter being too lazy to write the first half of the story. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that first chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's Wednesday my dudes.**

 **Alright, so I was reading these watching the movie fanfics for "Inspiration", and I found it quite humorous how accurate my completely satirical mockery of the fanfics were.**

 **I can completely summarize half the stories in a paragraph.**

 **Hiccup is about to be placed in the kill ring with the Nightmare. Bright white light. Self insert upbeat girl with magic powers. Copy and pasted reactions to the movie. Movie ends. Everyone gets sent back to Berk with a brand new sparkling opinion on dragons.**

 **This is how almost every Watching The Movie fic has gone. The only original WTM stories I've read include female Hiccup, (Which, for some stupid fucking reason, everyone feels inclined to call her (Hicca) and the only reason anyone ever includes "Fem!Hic" in their story is so that they can put in some stupid interspecies relationship where Hiccup can hop on Toothless' dick, and it isn't gay. Because Lord forbid a gay relationship! I'd rather break the WHOLE HTTYD storyline with my shitty OCs than ship gay fanfic.**

 **Anyways, back to the story.**

* * *

 **Stoick: DO NOT let them escape!**

 **Spitelout: Right!**

 ** _[Hiccup runs behind a torch pole and hides, just as flames reach around the corner._**

"Haha LOL! Look at Hiccup hiding like a little pussyboi! I'm so much more manly than him!" Said Snotlout.

 ** _He looks behind it and on the other side, the Nightmare reaches to get Hiccup. Stoick punches the beast and jumps back to defend himself. The dragon tries to breathe fire, but coughs up a small amount of magma instead.]_**

 **Stoick: You're all out.**

 ** _[Stoick promptly defeats the Nightmare. The torch pole collapses, the torch tumbles down into the village, leaving ruins in its wake.]_**

 **Hiccup (v.o.): Oh, and there's one more thing you need to know...**

"Is it that Hiccups a weak scrawnfag that doesn't even lift?" "Snotlout, you're beating a dead horse. We get it, you're the main antagonist. You don't have to reiterate." Said Hiccup.

"Oh thank god." Snotlout said. "I was running out of originality." **  
Hiccup: Sorry, Dad. Okay, but I hit a Night Fury.**

 ** _[Stoick grabs Hiccup by the back of his shirt and drags him towards his house.]_**

Hiccup the depressed virgin started sobbing into his hands. Why did everyone have to dehumanize him so much? His father was dragging him across the whole village like a deflated sex doll. His father gave him no respect.

 **Hiccup (cont.): It's not like the last few times, Dad! I mean, I really actually hit it! You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot. It went down, just off Raven Point. Let's get a search party out there, before it-**

 **Stoick:** ** _STOP!_** **Just... stop.**

Stoick, along with everyone else in the theater, cringed at how they didn't listen to the boy.

"I told you all, and you didn't listen to me! I've never even lied to you guys! This shit is why I cut myself!"

 **Stoick: Every time you step outside, disaster follows. Can you not see that I have bigger problems? Winter's almost here and I have an** ** _entire_** **village to feed!**

 **Hiccup: Between you and me, the village could do with a little** ** _less_** **feeding, don't ya think?  
** "You fucking what!?" somebody said in the crowd. "Are you fat shaming? You won't get away with this!"

All the villagers pulled out their macbook airs, and began furiously typing a tumblr blog about how society is wrong and how everyone should jerk it to fat people.

 **Stoick: This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Why can't you follow the simplest orders?**

 **Hiccup: I can't stop myself. I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.  
** "No." Hiccup said. "It's not who I am. And it never will be." Hiccup said heroically.

Stoick got so mad that steam came out of his asshole. " _He'll see. I'll make him see how evil dragons are."_ Stoick thought, foreshadowing how he was going to become the main villain in a later chapter, even though he never actually does shit, other than get pissed at Hiccup.

 **Stoick: You are many things, Hiccup. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house.** ** _[To Gobber]_** **Make sure he gets there. I have his mess to clean up.**

The movie suddenly paused. At first, everyone thought it was shitty buffering, or a thirty second unskippable car advertisement, but then Clankfap walked onto the theater's stage. "Hey everyone! I paused the movie because I think that it's about time we had an intermission!"

Clankfap used console commands to teleport everyone out of the theater, and into a big room with a huge table. On the table were tons of various foods. "Man I'm famished!" Clankfap said, shoving fast food garbage down his gullet.

The vikings hesitantly sat down to eat. The dragons, on the other side of the room, were eating their fish. Everything seemed to be going okay. When suddenly…

 _THUD_

The door to the dining area was kicked open. Another character, with no explanation at all, was shamelessly inserted into the story. The man was wearing a black trench coat, black cargo pants, and a duffel bag.

Other than looking like he was about to shoot up a school, he looked surprisingly edgy, and overall, shady.

Clankfap stood up from his seat. "xXx_BootyBuster9000! What are you doing here!?"

The man, known none other than the almighty BootyBuster, spoke with an extremely gravelly, overly menacing voice. "You're story is unoriginal, and very shallow. It lacks a subplot, and there are too many OCs."

Clankfap staggered backwards as if he'd taken a physical blow. "Hey! I said in the description of my story that no flames were allowed!"

Clankfap charged at the shady man and double backflip dropkicked his cracker ass so hard that when he crashed into the wall, he left a human shaped hole.

Clankfap brushed his shoulders off. "Hmph. Good riddance." He said like a total queef stain.

"Hey, who was that guy?" Hiccup asked.

"That was xXx_BootyBuster9000. He left a mean review on my last chapter." Clankfap said.

"It sounded pretty constructive to me." Stoick said. "Well, I have no idea how to handle constructive criticism, since I'm mostly used to people kissing my ass, so when he left a review, I felt the need to assert my nonexistent dominance in the only way I know how: By self inserting myself in a story as a superhero."

He sighed. "Anyhow, it would seem our intermission is over." Clankfap said, teleporting everyone back to the theater.

*Lazy chapter end*


	3. Update

**It's Friday my dudes.**

 **So, unfortunately, there will not be another chapter for two weeks, at least. You see, I'm going to summer camp, and I'll be spending two weeks there, overnight, weekends included. While I will be bringing my phone to play Pokemon Go (How else will I defend my virginity), I'll be leaving my laptop behind.**

 **Now addressing my guest reviewer, Uncle Joe, on my opinion of MODenials "Watching the movie" story.**

 **My response is that I can't find this MODenial author to save my man tits, let alone find his story. There is an assload of watching the movie stories, especially in the HTTYD category. And I'm sure you could understand me not wanting to dig through HTTYD fanfiction at midnight.**

 **But I can tell you that I probably wouldn't like it, since there is only so much you can do to be original.** **Don't get me wrong, I'm no hipster that sucks on flavorless popsicles; I used to actually enjoy the WTM fanfics. That's why I have such a close connection with this story.**

 **A little bit of backstory: Imagine me, young Fanfiction Reviewer, waiting at the bus stop for the school bus, on a cold, January day. It was so cold that crust would develop in your ass.**

 **Anyway, to pass the time, I'd read fanfiction. And the #1 thing I'd read: Watching the movie stories. I couldn't get enough of them.**

 **However, as time went on, I started to find that a lot of these WTM stories started off the same exact way, and those that actually finished, and didn't discontinue as if the author was kidnapped by the Illuminati, ended the same way.**

 **So I did what any sensible person would do. I stopped reading them. A year later, I'm sitting in the cafeteria, eating a salad like a fucking leaf-eating rabbit, and I check Fanfiction. And people are still uploading watching the movie fanfics! And they are all still the same!**

 **"Uh, hey guys, Xx_insertGenericUsername_xX here, this is my first story. It's a watching the movie story. I think it's pretty unique. Rated K+ because I'm paranoid, plz no flames"**

 **That's where this "Watching the movie spoof" series began for me.**

 **Anyways, I'll be back. If you want to read some more parody fanfics making fun of generic stories while you're waiting for me, you should check out ck1st. He's made a ton of stories, I've only read about two, but those two stories I've read are parodies of Fanfiction in general. "Mysterious mystery girl" and "Repetition's just like prison" are the stories.**

 **Plus, his Fanfics are a lot less toxic than mine. For now though, I'll leave you with one dirty joke.**

 **"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."**


	4. Chapter 3

AN: It's (not) Friday, my dudes. So, as you may notice, I'm laying off the gay bold font for my ANs, which technically aren't allowed in this fanfiction website.

If you're wondering why I've been gone an extra four weeks from when I said I would get back… Well, it's a long story. Essentially, a group of triggered fangirls took up arms against me, and kidnapped me. I managed to escape though. I had to hide in the woods, surviving off of Mountain Dew and Cool Ranch Doritos. Fuck Cool Ranch Doritos. If I wanted to eat chips that taste like paper, I'd eat fucking Lays original.

Anyhow, the truth is, when I got back from the college campus, a bunch of new shit was happening. A new Overwatch hero, 2 new DOOM updates, Skyrim remastered announcements, Morgan Freeman becoming president, the second coming of Christ, man I really missed out on a lot of stuff.

So, naturally, I needed a bit of time to take in all the new stuff I missed while I was gone.

On top of that, I forgot to post my chapter to my story. It was pretty much just sitting in my doc manager for two weeks.

But I'm back, and before I say anything else, I will mention right now, not to let anyone down, but this is the last chapter. I'll explain why later.

* * *

 ** _AN/_**

 **What's up guys, I'm your white knight, KawaiiNightFury420. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to discontinue this story. Not put it up for adoption, but discontinue. I'm taking the L.**

 **You see, I wanted to start a writing career in fanfic, and make a best selling Fanfic novel, but it's just too hard. I'm trash at HTTYD fanfic. But if you check out my profile, I have other fanfic titles! I have done fanfics for Minecraft, Toy story, Tangled, Naruto, and a bunch of other things. And not to brag, but I have one entire complete fanfiction.**

 **So, shameless self promotion, check out my profile, and remember:**

 **Dicks out for Harambe**

* * *

So there it is, ladies and gentlemen! My second fanfic, finished.

I'm gonna be completely honest, I didn't like this one that much. Not as much as the first, at least. But the sequel is almost never as good as the original, and that applies to everything. Books, games, porn, movies, etc.

Anyway, the reason I ended it here: I had actually intended to use the entire movie, as I stated in my previous story, but in the end, there's only so much I can make fun of.

The watching the movie fanfics are about 90% characters reacting to the movie by laughing, getting angry, or giving some edgy speech, and 10% ANs, where they constantly mention that they don't own dreamworks. Really though, that sort of pisses me off. Like, dreamworks isn't going to sue because some random author in Utah decided to make a fanfiction using their movie script.

Anyway, there's only so many dildo jokes I can make before it stops being funny. And I think you could see that my creativity was running short in the later chapters.

And my final words of this chapter, a condom slogan. Cloak the Joker before you poke her.

K bye


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